Ballerina: A Minute Review.

Yes. I am an adult man. Yes, I went to see Ballerina in theaters. Why do I do this to myself?

In the latest addition to the array of brainless ‘family’ films, Ballerina shows that the days of classic animation are numbered. I’ll give it credit where credit is due. The film does feature enthusiastic voice performances. I was pleasantly surprised with the effort that this cast placed in this film. This is an ultimate pity, because the surrounding film is nonsense.

The majority of the characters in Ballerina have immensely unlikable traits. They’re either dopey, bitchy, over-exaggerated or weak. With fantastic characters in films such as The Lion King and Wall-E, it proves that character connection is just as important in animation, which this films lacks completely. Ballerina is also riddled with every modern animated trope. Its predictability knows no bounds. With so much room for potential imagination, Ballerina throws it all out the window, and instead replaces it with the cringiest melodrama imaginable. Aside from the main story featuring the whole ‘ballerina dream prospect’ thingy, you have so many convoluted side narratives that lead for a crappy, bloated experience.

There’s a certain ‘caretaker’ character in Ballerina that felt like they actually had a tragic backstory. I would have much rather seen this story played out on screen, as opposed to a boring film that feels much too long and is designed to insult the intelligence of kids. Parents, I IMPLORE you. Show your children Toy Story 2, and they’ll grow up to be much more intelligent, less spoiled and more creative.

Rating: 1/5.

If this style of review tingled you in a positive way, share it with those you love dear. If you don’t love anyone, share it anyway. And stay tuned for more to-the-point reviews. Deuces.


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